Just hold on

Just breath.In,out,in and out again.It may not have really helped but that’s a breather,to think clearly.Things might not be going according to your imagnations.You got into this,this relationship.Just breath.Even on a rainy day,there are the positive sides:how you relax when you breath in the soil’s scent,the rainbow that comes out after the sun passes through the rain droplets.Maybe,just maybe we affected and want what we see on social posts,in books.What is in the books is a picture of an imagination(even though some are true a bit of fantasy is added)that’s why it doesn’t necessarily come true and it becomes soo hard matchin to that.It is like cartoons or animations,they ain’t real but somehow we see realness in them.You see things might be going way deeper south than north and that that is okay.Once in a while or twice or thrice no matter the time this must happen.Even the ferris wheel goes up and comes down.This does not mean you have to give up on you two and go for someone new because sometimes we give up and try looking for someone to match your previous.Then in the end we go back to them and seem desperate by others or wrong choice.We ourselves know better.

You can hold on if you:

1)Know why

Why did you get into this in the first place?Hope it wasn’t forced.That’s the worst reason.Some relationships are able to keep the fire burning coz they didn’t expect it and they fell in love.Your reason for being there counts a lot.

2)Remember the moments

All the moments let them flash and run through your mind.The sad ones where anger took over and ego was the judge,the laughter on stupid pictures,movies,the sing alongs.These moments are what make relationships and both of you special hence wanting more of these times.

3)See and feel happiness there

Happiness.That person makes you smile without knowing,laugh at how stupid or idiotic they are,cry because of the little yet sweet gifts they bring for you.Coz let’s be real that is something that is not that easy to find especially in this generation.Just enjoy and feel the moment.

If that person makes you a better you,makes all feelings surface again,that is someone worth it and holding onto.All you have to do is breath,take a cup of tea,think and see how much you want this and if that special person is worth holding their hand again.Just remember we got a similarity to the many novels:they show a story,like our lives where there are characters,times,moments,chapters.This is just one of the bad times,terrible chapters and horrible moments and it will pass.

Falling…

It’s suddenly difficult to breath.Am not havin an asthma attack but sincerely i wish it were.Every pain is evident even in my brown eyes.Every hurt is felt from deep to the surface of my body.Why?!!..Coz the one who put me together,the one who sewed me up when i was torn,coz that one gave me false wings.And instead of flyin up high am falling,falling soo fast and there is nothing i can do.Am not holding onto the clouds.The sky is laughing soo hard at me coz it’s watching me fall and it’s whispering to the clouds nearby,”She did that to herself.”When i try to lift my hands for someone or something to hold,i can’tcoz even the air itself is paving way.So am still falling and am allowing myself do so.And when i land i just want to lay there,lay there broken into thousands of pieces everywhere.And please if you find me,don’t pick me.It’s better feeling this way physically than emotionally.It is waay better if am cleaned like trash and be forgotten.

I FIND YOU GUILTY…

Why do most kids,youth like being on tv or social media?!..There as soo many reason behind this but sometimes,our parents fall under the many thousand reasons.We like to be done what we see but it’s close to impossible.”Mom,you see there is…,”but then all these words,sentences just form in your brain,the mouth too dry to say them coz sometimes,it’s either they too busy,won’t listen,brush us off,assume or just ignore us.They want US to be who THEY want.

“Mbona uliamua kufanya hivyo?!”they ask.It’s simple mum,dad,coz you weren’t there to see if am okay,you were unavailable but those other people were.And some/most parents ask why a 10 year old or a 20 year old got depression.Well what do you expect?!!..Lemme give you a hint,drum rolls please,YOU.Most times we look for Attention,Affection,Attraction,lemme call them my 3As,outside coz it’s better,it heals the soul,gives peace to the mind and calms the heart.All i pray and ask that before the society,before parents condemn and judge us,they will lend us their ears,their minds be open while we pour out our hearts.Otherwise,I find them guilty.

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